Denise Richards is officially done with marriage, and honestly? I don’t blame her one bit.

The 55-year-old actress went on Jenny McCarthy’s podcast this week and didn’t mince words about her split from Aaron Phypers. “Will I ever get married again? Abso-fing-lutely not. I don’t want that piece of paper,” she told McCarthy on Tuesday. And look, when someone’s that emphatic about it – when they’re literally cursing in the middle of their answer – you know they mean it.

When Marriage Feels Like a Business Deal

Here’s where it gets really messy. Richards said she felt like she “was a product and this was a business arrangement” in her marriage to Phypers. Ouch. “This was not a marriage,” she added, which is… that’s a hell of a thing to say about a six-year relationship.

I mean, think about that for a second. You’re married to someone for six years, and looking back, you’re basically calling it a transaction. That’s not just divorce bitterness talking – that’s someone who’s had time to really process what went wrong and came to a pretty damning conclusion.

The thing is, this isn’t Richards’ first rodeo. She was previously married to Charlie Sheen from 2002 to 2006, which was, let’s be honest, a complete disaster by the end. So when she says “I’m 0 for 2. I am,” she’s acknowledging a pattern. And patterns like that? They make you reevaluate everything. Nick Lachey Breaks Silence on Jessica Simpson Marriage in a similarly candid conversation about looking back on a high-profile split.

Is This Actually a Regret or Just Clarity?

Richards is calling her relationship with Phypers her one “regret,” which tracks with everything else she’s saying. But here’s what’s interesting – and this might sound contradictory – sometimes regrets aren’t really regrets. They’re just lessons learned the hard way.

You’ve got a woman in her mid-fifties who’s been through two marriages, raised kids (including through some really public, really ugly situations with Sheen), and she’s finally just… over it. She doesn’t want the piece of paper anymore. She’s not interested in doing this dance again.

“This was not a marriage.”

The Piece of Paper Problem

What strikes me most is how she keeps coming back to that phrase – “that piece of paper.” It suggests she’s not necessarily against partnership or love or even long-term commitment. She’s against the legal institution of marriage. Against whatever pressures or expectations came with it that made her feel like a product instead of a partner.

And honestly? More people probably feel this way than admit it. There’s still this cultural expectation that marriage is the goal, the finish line, the thing that validates a relationship. But if you’ve been through it twice and both times it ended with you feeling used or disappointed or like you were playing a role… why would you sign up for round three?

What Happens After “Never Again”

The split from Phypers is clearly still fresh and painful. Richards met him after her divorce from Sheen, probably hoping – like anyone would – that this time would be different. Better. Real. Not everyone's path leads to swearing off marriage entirely – The Secret Years Before Selena Said "I Do" shows how some stars take their time before committing.

Instead, she’s on a podcast using the f-word to emphasize how absolutely certain she is that she’ll never marry again. That’s not indecision. That’s not “we’ll see what happens.” That’s a woman drawing a line in the sand.

Will she stick to it? Who knows. People say “never” all the time and then change their minds when circumstances change, when healing happens, when the right person shows up at the right time. But right now, in this moment, she means it. You can hear it in how she’s talking about it.

The Bigger Picture Here

What’s kind of fascinating about all this is how public it is. Richards could’ve quietly divorced, kept her feelings private, done the whole “we wish each other well” statement thing. Instead, she’s out here calling it a business arrangement and a regret on a pretty high-profile podcast.

Maybe that’s cathartic for her. Maybe it’s a warning to other women who feel pressured to get married or stay married even when something feels fundamentally off. Or maybe – and this is what I actually think – she’s just done performing. Done pretending. Done protecting anyone’s feelings but her own.

After everything she’s been through, particularly the Sheen years which played out like a tabloid fever dream, maybe this is what clarity looks like. Messy, angry, profane clarity, but clarity nonetheless. She tried marriage twice. It didn’t work. She’s moving on without it. End of story.