Alright, let’s just cut to the chase: mom groups. They’re basically the wild west of modern parenting, aren’t they? And look, sometimes it’s a beautiful, supportive, ‘pass the organic kale smoothie’ kind of vibe. But a lot of the time? A whole lot of the time, they’re a hot mess of passive aggression, judgment, and just straight-up toxicity. And Kendra Wilkinson – yeah, that Kendra Wilkinson – she just went ahead and said the quiet part out loud.

The Calabasas Coven and Kendra’s Clapback

She’s been through it, she told Us Weekly. The whole mom group circus, especially in Calabasas. And honestly, who’s surprised? Calabasas, people. It’s not exactly known for its laid-back, “come as you are” energy, is it? It’s where the stakes are, like, designer-diaper high. Kendra, bless her heart, spilled the beans at Supermodels Unlimited Magazine’s 25th anniversary party – because where else would you talk about mom group drama, right? – on January 13. She basically said she doesn’t jive with ’em. Never fit in. And every time she tries? It’s just a chorus of whispers and backstabbing. “Everyone starts talking s,” she said, straight up, at SUR Restaurant & Lounge. And you know what? I believe her.

This whole thing actually bubbled up because Ashley Tisdale French (remember her from High School Musical? Yeah, that one) dropped this essay about ditching her own toxic mom group. And if Ashley Tisdale is saying it, and Kendra Wilkinson is echoing it, maybe, just maybe, there’s a pattern here. A pretty ugly one, if I’m being honest. It’s not just a few bad apples, is it? It’s like the entire orchard is a little… sour.

The Real Housewives of the Playdate

I’ve seen this play out a million times. Not just in Calabasas, though I’m sure it’s amplified there by, oh I don’t know, the sheer amount of money and status floating around. But everywhere. These groups start with the best intentions, right? Support, camaraderie, a place to vent about toddler tantrums and sleepless nights without judgment. But then, it’s like a switch flips. Suddenly it’s about who’s got the organic-est snacks, whose kid is hitting milestones first, who’s got the nanny, who’s not got the nanny, who wore Lululemon to the park versus, god forbid, Target sweatpants. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.

Why Do We Even Do This to Ourselves?

Here’s the thing: motherhood is isolating. Really, truly isolating for a lot of women. And we’re told, constantly, that we need our “village.” We need our “tribe.” So, we go looking for it. We join these groups, often out of a desperate need for connection and understanding. And then we walk into a social minefield. It’s like going to a party hoping for a good time, and instead, you’re just constantly scanning the room for who’s judging your outfit, your drink choice, or your laugh.

“Anytime I involve myself in a mom group, I always hear from people that everyone starts talking s.”

Kendra’s experience, where she “never fit into mom groups,” that resonates so hard. Because sometimes, you’re just not built for that kind of social Hunger Games. You just want to talk about how much sleep you got (or didn’t), or if that weird rash is normal, or how to get glitter out of the carpet. You don’t want to be analyzed, scrutinized, and then gossiped about behind your back. Especially not by other women who are supposedly in the same boat, navigating the same choppy waters of parenting.

The Hidden Cost of “Community”

It’s not just Calabasas, though I gotta say, the image of Kendra trying to navigate that particular social scene with its inherent pressures… it’s just so Hollywood. But this isn’t a celebrity problem, it’s a human problem. A mom problem. The pressure to be a “perfect” parent is already insane, right? And then you add a layer of peer pressure, of judgment from other moms who are probably just as insecure as you are, and it just creates this toxic stew. It’s like we’re all trying to out-parent each other, instead of just… supporting each other. What’s the point of a “community” if it makes you feel worse about yourself?

And let’s be real, a lot of this is probably fueled by social media, too. The curated perfection we see online, the highlight reels that make everyone else’s life look flawless. It seeps into real-life interactions. We bring that competitive, performative energy into our playdates and coffee meetups. It’s like we’re constantly on display, constantly being evaluated.

What This Actually Means

Look, if Kendra Wilkinson, a woman who literally lived in the Playboy Mansion and then had her life documented on reality TV, can’t handle the drama of a mom group, maybe that says something about mom groups. Maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s them. Or maybe it’s the whole darn system. If a “support group” is making you feel isolated, judged, or just plain crappy about yourself, then it’s not support. It’s just another source of stress in a life that’s already packed with it.

So, here’s my take: if you find your tribe, your actual, real, non-judgmental tribe, hold onto them for dear life. But if you’re in a group where “everyone starts talking s,” do what Kendra and Ashley did. Walk away. Seriously. Your sanity, and probably your kids’ future therapy bills, will thank you. Some battles just aren’t worth fighting, and honestly, the playground politics of a toxic mom group? They’re probably one of ’em.