Okay, so listen, I’ve been doing this gig for fifteen years, right? Seen a lot of crazy stuff cross my desk. Car crashes, sure. Weird car crashes, absolutely. But sometimes a story just lands that makes you actually stop, blink a few times, and just go, “What in the holy hell is going on?”

Another Denny’s Bites the Dust, Seriously?

And that’s exactly what happened when I saw the headline: “90s Driver Slams SUV Into Denny’s.” My first thought? Not gonna lie, it was a sigh. A big, heavy, been-here-before sigh. Because, let’s be real, how many times have we seen a car end up inside a restaurant? It’s like a running joke, but a really, really not funny one, especially for the folks inside.

This time, it was a Denny’s in Lacey, Washington. Tuesday morning, bright and early-ish, around 11:30 a.m. – prime brunch time, probably. An SUV, a Honda CR-V specifically, decides it doesn’t want to park outside the building. Oh no, it wants the full, immersive, table-side experience. And it got it. Right through the front window, apparently.

The driver, an unnamed gentleman who authorities say is in his 90s, was reportedly trying to back out of a parking spot. But, you know, things happen. Fingers slip. Or in this case, a foot slips. Or maybe a brain farts. He allegedly hit the gas instead of the brake. And, bam. Instant drive-through, but not the kind you actually want. Three people ended up in the hospital, thankfully with non-life-threatening injuries. Still, a trip to the hospital for your Grand Slam breakfast? That’s a pretty rough start to the day.

When Age Becomes an Issue (Or Does It?)

Here’s the thing, and I know this is gonna stir some pots, but we gotta talk about it. The “90s driver” part. It’s not about age-shaming, not really. It’s about practical reality. I mean, my grandma, bless her heart, gave up driving at 85 because she just felt like her reflexes weren’t what they used to be. And she was sharp, sharp as a tack! But driving is a whole other beast. It requires split-second decisions, keen vision, and quick footwork. And let’s be honest, sometimes when you’re 90, those things aren’t always working in perfect concert.

But Wait, Who’s Checking These Drivers?

This incident, and others like it – because trust me, this isn’t an isolated event – it just throws the spotlight right back on our licensing systems. Are we really doing enough? In many states, once you get your license, it’s basically yours for life, or at least until you’re, like, 100 and have to renew it with a simple eye test. No actual driving test, no real assessment of reaction time or cognitive function. And that seems… kinda crazy, doesn’t it?

“It’s not about taking away independence. It’s about keeping everyone safe. And sometimes those two things clash in a really difficult way.”

I get it. Driving means freedom. It’s a huge part of being independent, especially as you get older and maybe don’t have family nearby or public transport options. But at what point does that independence become a public hazard? I mean, we require kids to take a comprehensive driving course, pass written and practical tests, and then often have probationary periods. And then… poof! Once you’re an adult, it’s pretty much smooth sailing until you hit a certain age where they might ask you to prove you can still see a license plate from twenty feet away. That’s it.

The Meat of the Problem: Our System is Flawed

And it’s not just the elderly. Plenty of younger drivers are reckless, distracted, or just plain bad. But with older drivers, there’s a biological component. Vision can fade, hearing can go, reflexes slow down, and frankly, sometimes judgment just isn’t what it used to be. And that’s nobody’s fault, it’s just how humans are built.

But when you’re talking about a multi-ton vehicle, even a Honda CR-V, doing an unexpected interior redesign of a diner… that’s serious. Three people hospitalized. Could’ve been worse, way worse. We’re lucky it wasn’t a crowded evening, or a kid’s birthday party happening right at that table.

So, what’s the answer? Mandatory re-testing for everyone over, say, 75? Maybe every five years? A more rigorous physical, not just an eye chart? I don’t know. Nobody wants to be the bad guy telling someone they can’t drive anymore. But who wants to be the guy picking glass out of their hair because someone mistook the gas for the brake?

What This Actually Means

Look, this isn’t about demonizing our seniors. It’s about having a realistic conversation about public safety and how our current system is kinda, well, failing us. It’s a tough conversation, one that makes a lot of people uncomfortable, especially if they have aging parents or grandparents. But incidents like this Denny’s crash? They scream that we need to address it. We can’t just keep shrugging and saying “accidents happen” when there are clear patterns emerging.

Maybe it’s time for some innovative solutions. Better public transport options, ride-sharing subsidies for seniors, even self-driving cars could eventually play a role. But for now, we’ve got a system that feels like it’s designed to let people keep driving until something really bad happens. And frankly, that’s not good enough. Not for the folks trying to enjoy their coffee and pancakes. Not for the waitstaff just trying to make a living. And certainly not for the community who has to deal with the aftermath of yet another car-into-building disaster.

We’ve gotta do better. Before the next Denny’s becomes a drive-in. Again.