Okay, so Jessica Alba. And Danny Ramirez. Cabo. January 3rd, 2026. The year just started, literally. And Us Weekly, bless their hearts, got an “exclusive” from an eyewitness who saw them being, wait for it, “super touchy feely with each other.” Like, ground-breaking stuff, right? A couple on vacation, showing affection. Shocking, I tell you. Absolutely shocking.

PDA in Paradise? Give Me a Break.

Look, I’ve been doing this gig for fifteen years, and I gotta say, some stories just make you roll your eyes so hard they might get stuck. This whole “Jessica Alba’s Cabo PDA: Too Hot For TV?” thing? It’s not the PDA that’s “too hot,” it’s the media’s obsession with policing women’s public displays of affection, especially when there’s an age gap involved. If I’m being honest, it just feels like we’re looking for reasons to nitpick.

Here’s the thing. Jessica Alba, 44, and Danny Ramirez, 33, are in Cabo. On vacation. Kicking off the new year. And this “eyewitness” (who, let’s be real, is probably just someone with a smartphone and a strong desire for five minutes of fame) tells Us Weekly that Alba “was constantly putting her arms around him.” Oh, the horror! A woman embracing her boyfriend. This is big. Really big.

The report goes on to say, and I quote, “There was a lot of PDA.” A LOT. Like, did they measure it? Was there a PDA-o-meter involved? And then, just to really drive the point home, “Alba was ‘all over’ Ramirez, who was ‘more reserved but very affectionate.'” So, she’s the aggressor, basically. The one who’s “all over” him. He’s just, you know, being a man. Reserved. But still, you know, consenting to the affection. What a guy. He was also “very chivalrous” holding both their bags. Because, you know, women can’t possibly carry their own luggage. It’s a miracle she even managed to put her arms around him with such a delicate constitution, right?

The “Reserved” Boyfriend and the “All Over” Girlfriend

This whole framing, it’s just… it’s a trope, isn’t it? The woman, especially the slightly older woman, being the one who’s too enthusiastic, too public, too much. While the younger man is painted as the calm, collected, chivalrous one. Like he’s tolerating her exuberance. Not gonna lie, this kind of narrative drives me nuts because it subtly shames women for expressing joy and affection openly. It’s almost like saying, “Hey, Jess, dial it down a notch. You’re 44. You should be, I don’t know, sipping tea and discussing property values, not being ‘all over’ your 33-year-old boyfriend in public.”

But Wait, Doesn’t This Sound Familiar?

You know, this reminds me of basically every story ever written about a woman in Hollywood daring to age past 40 and still be desirable, still be sexual, still be human. It’s not enough for her to be in a relationship, she has to be scrutinized for how she’s in that relationship. Is she too clingy? Too demonstrative? Is she embarrassing her younger man? Because heaven forbid a woman, especially a famous one, just exist and express love in a way that feels natural to her.

“It’s like we’re still stuck in this weird puritanical bubble where women’s public displays of affection are inherently more scandalous than men’s. And if she’s over 40? Oh boy, buckle up.”

And let’s not forget the flight delays. “The couple remained calm in the chaos.” I mean, good for them, I guess? But is that really a testament to their love, or just… basic human decency when you’re stuck at an airport? I’ve seen people remain calm during flight delays who absolutely despise each other. It’s called not wanting to get arrested, usually. But for a celebrity couple, every single mundane interaction becomes evidence for the grand narrative of their relationship.

The Real Story We’re Missing (Or Ignoring)

Here’s what this actually means. It means we’re still super uncomfortable with women, particularly women over a certain age, being openly affectionate, especially with younger partners. If this were, say, George Clooney (59) and Amal (45), being “super touchy feely” in Cabo, would the headline be about his PDA being “too hot for TV”? Probably not. It’d be about how adorable they are, how in love, how he’s still got it. But when it’s the woman who’s older, suddenly her affection is “all over” and needs to be called out. It’s a double standard, pure and simple.

Jessica Alba is a successful businesswoman, an actress, a mother. She’s living her life. She’s allowed to be happy, to be affectionate, to be “all over” her boyfriend if that’s what feels right to her. The fact that an “eyewitness” felt compelled to report on her level of PDA, and that a major publication then framed it as something noteworthy, tells you more about our society’s hang-ups than it does about Alba’s relationship.

What This Actually Means

Honestly? It means we’re still, in 2026, finding ways to comment on and implicitly judge women’s behavior in public, especially when it comes to romance. It’s not about the “heat” of the PDA; it’s about the perceived audacity of a woman, especially one in the public eye, being so visibly comfortable and expressive in her own skin, with her chosen partner. It’s a gentle reminder, I guess, that no matter how far we think we’ve come, there’s always someone ready to pull out the measuring tape for a woman’s affection levels. And frankly, who cares? Let them be “super touchy feely.” Let them be “all over” each other. It’s a vacation. It’s love. It’s just… life. Maybe we should all try it sometime instead of being an “eyewitness” to someone else’s joy.